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Parental Alienation Syndrome

Are you in a divorce?
And are you experiencing that your child since then:

a. started to judge you in a grandiose way?
b. has a sense of entitlement towards you: you have to serve it’s needs and
c. has no empathy towards you?
d. has an arrogant attitude towards you?
e. is dehumanizing you?
f. is totally rejecting you?

If your answer to these questions is yes, you are experiencing Parental Alienation. This could be the effect of your ex manipulating your child to reject and abandon you.

Are you experiencing that the therapeutic and legal system that is there to support you to have the divorce go in a humane way, is unable to help you effectively? There is a solution on the way.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental Alienation is the process in which one of the divorcing parents manipulates the children with the goal that the children abandon the other parent. This is only done by narcissistic or borderline parents. It is a severe form of child-abuse in which a child looses one parent and a parent looses a child. This should never happen, because a child needs both parents.

The mental health system and court-system fail to adress this problem. Divorce usually is a difficult process for everyone involved. In about 10% of the divorces the divorce is further complicated when one parent sets the child or children up against the other parent, resulting in the child rejecting the other parent. The legal and psychotherapeutic systems often allow the child-alienating-parent to do this to the children and the other parent. This has to stop.

Dr Craig Childress

There is someone who specialized in this particular type of pathology. His name is Dr Craig Childress. He is a licensed clinical psychologist in California and he is training the professionals to deal with this type of a problem in a powerful professional way, to help children with divorcing parents to be able to re-establish a loving relationship with both parents.

Causes of parental alienation in the abusive parent

He says: Narcissistic and borderline parents often have had a traumatic childhood themselves. Narcissists are especially vulnerable for rejection, and borderliners especially for abandonment. And when they divorce their childhood trauma’s are reactivated. As a consequence of this reactivation they make up false narratives about the other parent, and inject these narratives in the child, resulting in the child rejecting and judging the other parent. Childress explains the dynamics in the narcissistic and borderline parent, the family-systems. I will give you the links to the video’s where he does so (published in 2017).

The therapeutic and legal professional systems usually do not have an effective answer and solution for this complex pathology yet. But Dr Craig Childress has specialized in this and he says: we can ABSOLUTELY solve this pathology.

Assessment and diagnostics

First it has to be assessed and diagnosed correctly. According to Childress 3 diagnostic indicators will always show up with this type of pathology. And, it only shows up with this type of pathology, so these indicators help diagnosing correctly. Here are those 3 diagnostic indicators:

Diagnostic Indicator 1.

attachment-system suppression: a child is rejecting a normal range parent

Diagnostic Indicator 2.

5 narcissistic symptoms that display in the child:
a. The child is showing grandiose judging of the parent,
b. sense of entitlement: the parent has to serve my needs and
c. there is an absence of empathy towards the rejected parent,
d. arrogant attitude towards the rejected parent,
e. splitting: dehumanisation of the rejected parent.

These 5 symptoms are the psychological fingerprint of control by the narcissistic parent. We cannot control a child without leaving fingerprints of that control.

How does a child acquire narcissistic personality traits? Does the child have narcissistic personality disorder? NO, its the child who picks it up from the parent who is influencing the child.

Diagnostic Indicator 3.

A victimization delusion in the child: the fixed false belief that they are victimized by the normal range parent that is installed by the narcissistic or borderline parent.

Childress explains: In psychology a fixed false belief is called a delusion. And this victimization delusion is a persucatory delusion. If that affects only one area of the childs life, it’s called an encapsulated persucatory delusion.
The child has an encapsulated persucatory delusion. Where does that child get that from? From the narcissistic -borderline parent who beliefs this false narrative who is doing the pathogenic parenting.

How can Parental Alienation be tackled effectively?

Childress says: In order to solve this problem we need:

1. the expertise that currently is not out yet (2017), but he is training professionals how to stop the child abuse by the abusive parent and how to support the child in establishing loving relationships with both parents. The first people are certified by Childress to assess and diagnose.

2. a “family program for family courts” and protocol: this exists already, but is in a pilot stage

3. The treatment protocol is: when child symptoms of parental alienation go up, the time with narcissistic or borderline parent is reduced, and the time with other parent is increased to help re-establishing balance, so the child can have healthy loving relationships with both parents. This time balance needs to be re-adjusted on a regular basis by the therapist.

4. the courtsystem needs to support and empower the therapist.
Childress has created a cooperationtraining for legal professionals how to cooperate with mental health personals to support restauration of parent-child relationships therapy.

What can you do today?

If you recognize your situation in this story, tell your therapist and the legal professionals about the work of Dr Craig Childress. This will help you.

He has written a book “An Attachment-Based Model of Parental Alienation: Foundations”, and he created an assessment system for proper diagnosis.

This is his website: http://www.drcachildress.org
His collected works: http://dr-childress-index.droppages.com

In 5 youtube video’s Dr Craig Childress, Psy D. explains the whole story, and clarifies exactly what needs to be done.

Go see these video’s here:

If you want you can as well watch these video’s:

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I hope this information has served you.

FreyaJoy Tinbergen